Have you seen Vern?

Thursday, 13 January 2011 03:18

Vern the Vibrator Mystery ^Featured

Written by Eve Adams

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Vern The movie II the sequal

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Important - New Vern updates see below, Vern in Roadhouse & Charlie don't surf but Vern does!

So my story starts around four months ago. I was checking through my toy drawer and noticed my all time favorite vibrator "Vern the vibrator" was missing. I was very disappointed as Vern and I had spent many a happy day inflicting pleasure upon myself and to lose him was a tragedy. I scoured the house and he was no where to be seen, I was positive I had put him back in his treasured place after we had had fun last time together.

This was turning into a real mystery, it's not as if Vern could pack his bags and leave by the front door (or back door). In any case why would he want to, he was my number one little guy and I had looked after him very well. Always cleaning him after use and never leaving batteries in.

In my toy drawer he was always laid out on a very soft fluffy towel and in top position (see picture)

Vern in happier days

So then the mystery turned into panic as I wondered at how one of my toys could of completely disappeared. So when I rang my best friend and told them how I had been broken onto and Vern had been vibe-napped they reassured me that they were sure burglars would be after more than just Vern and that I would "forget where I left my head if it wasn't screwed on".

So the mystery of Vern was forgotten and he was forever put on the MIA list of favorite sex toys.

So three months later when I got an email from Vern with a picture of him standing in front of the Sydney Opera House and written below "having a ball, wish you were here" I was heart broken but very suspicious. For one although Vern was very clever he was not clever enough to take a picture seeing as he had no hands.

Also the fact he had an email account even though it was just Vern and I at the beach a free gmail account " This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it " as I knew what a technophobe Vern was. He wouldn't touch a computer even if he did have hands. So the question arose who had vibe-napped Vern and how were they making him look so happy even though we all knew he should be as miserable as I, without him in my life

So when a second email shows up a month later with Vern in front of the Tower bridge in London and the same line "having a ball, wish you were here" I decided to post pictures here in case you know someone who has seen Vern or even if you're going overseas to keep a lookout for Vern.

If you do see Vern please DO NOT approach as we don't know what kind of people have vibe-napped him and they could be dangerous or even target one of your favorite toys. If you want to email Vern and ask him how his vibe-nappers are treating him, click the email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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Vern was a complete package and unlike other vibrators, Vern even mowed the lawns. I really miss my little guy so please get the message out so we can find the despicable characters who would inflict such misery on myself and Vern.

Updates:

3/5/11 - Vern in Vietnam!

Seems Vern is now in Vietnam and looks to be enjoying himself. Starting to get a little disappointed as he seems to be smiling in every damn photo I receive! One would think they have just drawn the smile on his face!

View the embedded image gallery online at:
http://www.eveadams.com.au/have-you-seen-vern/articles-reviews-fun-stuff/vern-the-vibrator-mystery#sigProGalleria48b98c4768

What are the NT Police doing?

P1010163

Vern on the missing dildo list and being flaunted in front of the Nt's finest? What is this country coming to if vibe-nappers can flaunt their victims in front of our police!

18/4/11 - Latest video - Vern found in a roadhouse!! Vern a party animal?

Viewer warning - X-rated

Click here to see latest Vern Video

Seems Vern has been up to no good, here I am worrying sick about him and now I see this sickening video of Vern partying with what I can only call whores!

I have posted some of the more worksafe friendly photo's below but watch the video for the sickening betrayal of my Vern.

Although now I'm starting to think that Vern has been drugged as this could be the only reason he has let himself be molested in such a way.

View the embedded image gallery online at:
http://www.eveadams.com.au/have-you-seen-vern/articles-reviews-fun-stuff/vern-the-vibrator-mystery#sigProGalleria9d19a8d35c

14/4/11 - Vern's Out back Adventure

Latest pictures from Vern, This would of been straight after he was vibenapped. Looks like he has been taken hostage by some Ned Kelly type Bushrangers!

Video footage can be found here at this link -Be aware that some of the images may upset some viewers!

View the footage click here

Images from video can be seen below.

View the embedded image gallery online at:
http://www.eveadams.com.au/have-you-seen-vern/articles-reviews-fun-stuff/vern-the-vibrator-mystery#sigProGalleriad3c898cbae

16/3/11 - Vern trying to escape?

View the embedded image gallery online at:
http://www.eveadams.com.au/have-you-seen-vern/articles-reviews-fun-stuff/vern-the-vibrator-mystery#sigProGalleriac5ff1d0107

It looks like Vern is trying to escape his vibe-nappers in the latest photo's we have received. Making a run for it at dusk but obviously the fact he was photographed in the attempt means he must of been re-captured. The name of the area is lac du Salagou we have been informed.

11/3/11 _ Vern Posing!

Latest photo shows Vern posing on an unidentified statue. If you know where this statue is please contact us asap.

Section Enlarged for Vern identification below

He looks very cross in this picture and obviously unhappy.

5/3/11 - Vern Skiing!

Latest pictures received show Vern in the French Alps.

View the embedded image gallery online at:
http://www.eveadams.com.au/have-you-seen-vern/articles-reviews-fun-stuff/vern-the-vibrator-mystery#sigProGalleria8f05bcd231

If you can help and identify where in the French Alps this is please comment below. Poor Vern must be freezing as you can tell he's obviously shivering in these photo's and not vibrating! His vibe-nappers have not bothered to get him any suitable winter attire. Oh the humanity of it all

25/2/11 - Vern in Paris!

View the embedded image gallery online at:
http://www.eveadams.com.au/have-you-seen-vern/articles-reviews-fun-stuff/vern-the-vibrator-mystery#sigProGalleria49a3b1c5c8

Latest photo's sent from Vern's vibe-nappers, seems Vern's in Paris and looking a little depressed which has me worried. If you know someone in France and especially in Paris ask them to keep a lookout for Vern but tell them not to approach. As above we have no idea how desperate his vibe-nappers are.

Verns Vibe-nappers if you're reading this please let Vern come home as I miss him and need the little guy back in my life.

Update: 12/1/11

Due to a comment we received that they thought they had seen Vern as a candidate for the Australian Sex Party. We have had this composition photo done below of what Vern would look like as an Sex party candidate. If you or someone you know has seen Vern or someone similar to the photo below please contact us asap.

A composition photo of Vern as a Australian Sex Party Candidate.

Have you seen this Dildo?

Help get the message out about Vern, join his Facebook Page below and bring the little fella home.

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Eve Adams

Self satisfaction guru Eve Adams enjoys adding articles and answering questions to help others find satisfaction in their sex lives.

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Eve Adams

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11 comments

Comment Link Friday, 01 April 2011 03:33 posted by Alyce
I see Vern's still in France!.....Looking forward to his next adventure!!
Too Funny guy's:)
Comment Link Friday, 11 March 2011 06:17 posted by Corri
I think you truly need to check the gnomes ... they always go on hols!
Comment Link Thursday, 10 March 2011 04:25 posted by Alyce
I think thats Mont Blanc in the background??
There's an empty bottle of wine in one of the pics so no wonder Vern's not cold, although he does look a little stiff:)

Can't wait to see where he turns up next:)
Comment Link Saturday, 26 February 2011 11:32 posted by Megs
At least he seems to still have a smile on his face I guess they're not treating him too badly. I hope you get him back soon.
Comment Link Sunday, 20 February 2011 10:28 posted by Coz
hahaha nice work
Comment Link Monday, 14 February 2011 00:50 posted by Ralph
He looks like my local sex party candidate maybe you should contact the Australian Sex Party
Comment Link Monday, 14 February 2011 00:05 posted by kath
lol poor old Vern, I'll keep a lookout around Perth. I'm sure he wont be that hard to spot!
Comment Link Thursday, 10 February 2011 21:13 posted by Sammy
Just to let you know, I may have been served by this guy at my local Bunnings when I was after some fertiliser for the lawn.
Comment Link Thursday, 10 February 2011 05:41 posted by Terry ddd
You're both crazy I'm sure I have seem him at my friends place. Maybe she's holding him for ransom?
Comment Link Wednesday, 09 February 2011 23:41 posted by mel
You have to watch those dildo's in long coats Angie they all look the same from a distance ;p